The Love Of Your Life
by Michelle Drake
Summary: Logan gets ready to get married three years after Max dies (AJBAC). Letting her go is hard, especially when she is still alive, and if you think that's bad, guess when Max shows up? M/L shippiness and lots of angst, and romance . . . Chap 7 is now up!
1. C h a p t e r O n e

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: This is actually one of the first fanfics I've ever written, and has been sitting on my computer collect cobwebs. I can't believe I am actually posting this- I am *extremely* overprotective of my stories . . . I tried to keep it sort of long without completely rambling (although chapter one is extremely short). I know that there are a bunch of post fics . . . but this is a little different. Please tell me if you like it!!!! Just a warning to any of you who have read this far and are planning to read to the end (which I advise you do!), it is very, very, very over dramatized. I refuse to let Max and Logan get together without some big, horrible, down right heartbreaking scenes (at the very end of course . . . ). But- this is all so very, very, very good!!!! I have a sequel all ready written . . . and almost complete. The more reviews I get, the faster I post it . . . get it? Hehehe! Amy, KT, Angie, and Laura . . . I can't forget to mention you all! :) Everyone please remember . . . the first chapter sucks . . . but the rest gets a little better . . . I swear!  
  
Spoilers: Post AJBAC  
  
Summary: Logan gets ready to get married three years after Max dies (Post AJBAC). Trying to let her go is hard, especially when she is still alive, and if you think that's bad, guess when Max shows up? . . . M/L shippiness and lots of angst, and romance . . .  
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review, remember, flames are always good, but compliments aren't bad either!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or anything at gypsychic04@c4.com.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel characters. Yeah, I know, (sadly) I don't own Michael Weatherly- oh poo!!!! He belongs to Jessica Alba, and I don't think she will let me have him. Logan and Max, and other characters belong to James (King of the World) Cameron and Charles H. Eglee and all the apes at Fox. I do however own this story and my other stories- so there!!!! Oh- and I own Julie- she's my character (if you'd like to borrow her- please ask, I'd be happy to lend her to you for other stories because throughout the progression of this one she becomes a little interesting!)- not the baboons who own Fox. I also own Alec- he's my love slave . . . but that's besides the point . . .  
  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r O n e. . .  


  
  
"Who's that?" asked a long haired, blonde women curiously looking over Logan's shoulder. "Is that her?" she asked eying a photo that Logan had been looking at longingly.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said quickly shoving the picture in the drawer shutting it clumsily, being caught off guard. He didn't want to have to explain everything- he hated having to explain everything. It was a picture of Max and Logan at his cousins wedding over three years ago. It had been their first real date and the night that Logan had decided that he was in love with Max, and that if he were to get married to anyone, that it would be her. That was all impossible now, all those dreams he had thought up about what there lives would be like if they ever had the chance to get married were simply erased. Thinking about Max and the life that they would never be able to spend together, let alone talking about her was just too hard. He hoped that maybe if he hid the picture and pretended that it never existed, that Julie wouldn't question it. He hated having to explain it to everyone. He hated the way that they would look at him with those expressions of pity and ask questions, pretending that they cared and understood. No one understood how much it hurt.   
  
"Bling told me about her, you know, 'the love of your life'. It's a good thing I'm not the jealous type," she said laughing lightly, trying to lighten up the depressed mood he had been in for the past week. "She's really pretty," she commented, hoping that he would take down the icy mask that he seemed to be wearing.  
  
"She wasn't the 'love of my life', we weren't like that," he said with no emotion, covering up what he was really feeling. Of course she had been the 'love of his life', and now she was gone. He didn't need to be telling this to Julie. Especially a few days before their wedding. He didn't need to tell her that Max was still the love of his life, and that she couldn't ever compare to her, as much as she tried.  
  
"How come I had to go to Bling to find out about her? Were you afraid to tell me or something?" Julie asked, a little sad and confused. Bling had only told her a few bits and pieces here and there. All she knew was that Logan had been madly in love with her and she died very suddenly. Other than that, Logan never breathed a word about her.  
  
"Because you can get anything out of Bling," he said, mentally noting to not tell Bling anything anymore. "And because I'd rather not talk about it." Brushing the topic off always seemed better than talking about it.  
  
"I know it must be hard to get over someone you loved," she said still wanting to get more information out of him without upsetting him. "If you ever want to talk about her, I'll listen," she emphasized. It was hard being in love with someone, and not knowing a big part of their life. What was even harder was seeing how much someone you loved hurt, and not being able to help stop that hurt.  
  
"Please- just don't. It took me a three years to finally be able to get over her, so please, just don't. I'll tell you everything later. It's just too soon to be able to talk about her," he said stumbling over his words.  
  
It had taken him so long to finally be okay. He remembered how bad things had been those first days after she had died. Those first few day when a part of him died. He had sat in the same spot in front of the window for days, not eating or sleeping. He kept replaying that night over and over, like a broken record until he practically drove himself mad. He had driven himself so mad to a point where he had almost killed himself. He just wasn't ready to give into the fact that she wasn't coming back- but he had to face reality- He was there when she died. He watched her die in his arms. That day still haunted his thoughts. Even though he knew what had happened, he still had the feeling that she wasn't really gone. That had been almost three years ago, but he still felt like she could still possibly come back to him.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said sympathetically, a little taken aback. "Do you think it's too soon to be getting married?" she said almost painfully.  
  
"No," he said taking her hand, gesturing for her to sit on his lap. "No it's not too soon," he said smiling as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a comforting hug. Logan silently scolded himself as he wrapped his arms around Julie; he was getting married in a few days to one of the most beautiful and caring women he could think of, he shouldn't be feeling so doubtful, but he was.  
  


. . .  


  
Logan sat at his desk later that night. Julie was already asleep in their bed, but he found himself tossing and turning. Not wanting to wake her, he wheeled himself to his study, and without even thinking, took out the picture of Max. It was all he had left of her.   
  
"Max- I miss you so much," he said quietly staring at the ceiling. "I wish that you were here with me. Just for a few seconds, so that I could touch the face I see every time I close my eyes." Tears began to come to his eyes but they remained unshed. Logan refused to let them out, something he refused to do ever since that horrible night she had died in his arms. "I know this might sound horrible- but I haven't cried over you. I just can't bring myself to because I know if I do- I'll never be able to stop," he managed to choked out, continuing to stare at the picture. "I'm getting married in a few days. I really love her- so much; but I will never love her the way I love- loved you- still love you," he continued, "I told myself that you would have wanted me to move on with my life, but I still can't seem to shake the feeling that you're not really gone. Like your still alive out there somewhere. Maybe I'm just being naive. My mind tells me that your gone, but my heart still tells me your out there still . . ." he quietly trailed off. "Maybe I'm just kidding myself, it's been three years."   
  
He gently put the picture back in the drawer next to his mothers locket. He had never had the chance to give Max the necklace. He took it out of the drawer, and let it slip in and out of his fingers. After he and Julie had gotten engaged, he considered giving it to her but never did. It was Max who had gotten he necklace back for him, it rightfully belonged to her now, it could ever belong to anyone else. Logan also remembered what his mother had said to him when he was little; " . . .and one day you'll give it to the love of your life. The women that you could never imagine living without, the women that steals your heart away and turns your whole world upside down." Logan knew that he could never and would never give Julie the locket. He loved Julie as much as he possible could, but he still felt guilty.   
  
He put the locket back in the drawer next to the picture, and vowed that he wouldn't take either of them out ever again. He went back to bed, feeling a little better about everything. He had kept everything bottled up for so long. Finally letting go and saying everything outloud he felt made him feel so much better.   
  


. . .  
  
  


  
Author's Note: I know, it was a bit slow, and a bit short, but first chapters always help set up the rest of the story, and normally suck . . . once you get to chapters three and four it all comes together, and then five and six everything completely explodes. Please bear with me, first chapters aren't very good . . . but it *will* get better . . PROMISE! You know the drill . . . review, review, REVIEW!!!! The more reviews i get the faster I post the next chapters . . . Luv y'all! Let's say . . . fifteen reviews then you get chapter two . . . okey dokey? And please read some of my other fics . . . if I get more reviews on those I will finish this faster, and get the sequel going! :) And please review for each chapter you read . . . that way i will know how many people have read it . . . you can even just write . . . I hated it or I liked it and leave it at that . . . it takes only a few seconds and I would greatly appreciate it!  
  
  
  
Just a shameless plug . . . PLEASE read Forever Changed It is a good M/L and M/A fic . . . :) Also read Worst Fear, and Back In Your Arms more post AJBAC fic . . . I think I have about five more post AJBAC fics . . . great fun stuff! :)  
  
  
  


the.love.of.your.life.by.Michelle.Drake©  
gypsychic04@c4.com  


  
  
  


  



	2. C h a p t e r T w o

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: Here you all go . . . long awaited (actually not really very long awaited) chapter two! Things are working up to the climax . . . so keep on reading and reviewing . . . the more you review the more I post! There really isn't very much else to say . . . just PLEASE tell me what you think. One of my reviewers was a little confused, so here is a clarification, Max has been at Manticore for three years, and Logan has basically excepted the fact that she is dead (post AJBAC).  
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review, remember, flames are always good, I just really want to know how I can make my writing better!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or anything at gypsychic04@c4.com. I would also love to offer my beta-ing skills! :)   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel characters- I just get into their minds and play with their hearts. Yes, I know sadly I don't own Michael Weatherly- oh poo!!!! He belongs to Jessica Alba, and I don't think she will let me have him. Logan and Max, and other characters belong to James (let's make a story about an unsinkable boat and sink it) Cameron and Charles H. (what had he done?) Eglee and all the apes- or baboons- or primates- or . . . whatever, the peoples at Fox. I do however own this story and my other stories- so there!!!! Oh- and I own Julie- she's my character- not the baboons who own Fox. I also own Alec- he's my love slave . . . but that's besides the point . . . and you can't have him!  
  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r T w o. . .  
  


  
Max quietly hid in the shadows of the dark cave that she had hid out in with Zack so long ago. After breaking free of Manticore, the woods were swarming with soldiers, and she needed a place to hide out until it was dark. Memories of Zack rushed through her mind, haunting her. She had accepted the fact that he had killed himself just to save her life, but it still hurt too much to think about it. She blinked back tears, like she always did, when she remembered what had happened . . .   
  
_It was cool and dark. She had no idea where she was or what was happening. The last thing that she had remembered was lying in bed with Logan. It was so real, yet so dream like at the same time. Maybe it was because she had dreamed of that very moment so many times before. That's when she was violently forced back into reality, as she lay on the cool, dark floor of the forest. The next thing she saw was Logan. She didn't understand what was going on . . . why was he crying? She didn't remember what he said, all she could remember was the sadness that was etched on his face, and the heartbreak that was reflected in his eyes. All she wanted to do was tell him that she loved him, but the words didn't come out, and soon everything went into a tunneling, black, nothingness.  
  
That's when the real bomb hit. At first it seemed comforting and calm, as she remembered everyone she loved. It was almost welcoming, until she heard Zack's voice filled with pain. Bring her back! he yelled out in desperation. We can't. Her heart is too badly damaged, said an unknown voice. Max could hear more little tidbits of conversation here and there, then hearing the words that she had replayed in her mind over and over and over again. Fight them Maxie, promise me you'll fight them! his voice was filled with determination and fear, but also with love that ran deeper than just being a brother. X-599, I've got a heart for you- There was a loud gunshot and then a silence. Silence had never seemed so loud . . . _  
  
After Max had come to the realization of what had happened she fought them hard. Now all her hard work was about to pay off. She didn't know how she'd make it through with the woods which were swarming with Manticore soldiers, but she knew that she would make it. She had to make it. She didn't have any other choice. Getting back to Seattle meant more to her than anything, and she didn't care who got in her way, or what she would have to do to get there. She was going to escape form Manticore for good. Most of all she had to see Logan again. She had know idea what she'd say to Logan when she got there, but she didn't care. She just had to see him, even if it were the last thing she did.  
  


. . .   


  
Logan worked busily making breakfast for Julie. He was finally starting to feel excited about the wedding. He was afraid that he might have made Julie feel like he wasn't ready to get married, or even worse, that he didn't want to get married to _her_.   
  
"Knock, knock, knock," he said entering the bedroom with the tray of breakfast, complete with a single red rose.  
  
"You made me breakfast in bed?!" she said surprised. "That is so sweet!" Since she had gotten to know Logan, she had realized what a hopeless romantic he was. When they had went on their first date he had brought her a bouquet of a dozen red roses. When he had proposed he had made her the most gorgeous dinner with candles scatters everywhere around the room. Even though she'd grown to expect his sweet little romantic gestures, she hadn't expected him to bring her breakfast in bed.   
  
"Well, I know I've been a little withdrawn lately, and I'm sorry. I guess I was really nervous about the wedding," he confessed, setting the tray in front of her. "My first marriage never went well, so I have bee really nervous about going down the aisle again. So I guess this is my way of making everything up to you. I needed to let you know that I really want to marry you, and that I love you, more than anything."  
  
"You didn't have to make me breakfast in bed though!" she said teasingly, as she brushed a lock of long, curly blonde hair behind her ears. "Everyone get's cold feet."   
  
"I don't care if I didn't have to make you breakfast, I wanted to. Besides, I just spent all morning cooking for you, so eat!" he teased moving himself next to her on the bed as they shared the breakfast.  
  


. . .  


  
Max peered outside of the cave, all senses on alert. She spotted soldiers posted everywhere around the woods.  
  
"Damn," she cursed quietly. It didn't look like she was going to be going anywhere until way past nightfall, meaning she'd have to wait even longer, if she could only last that that long. She moved to the back of the damp, cave, hoping that she would be able to hide there undetected.  
  
"You check over the river, and I'll check the cave," said Brin's familiar voice.  
  
Max crept even farther back into the cave, so that her back was pressed up against the cold stones. She tried her best to hide in the cool, dark shadows of the cave, hoping that Brin wouldn't find her. She knew that if she did find her, she wouldn't have the strength to fight.   
  
Brin made her way into the cave, looking for Max. She slowly snuck around the walls, venturing farther into the back of the cave where Max was, making sure that no one was there. Sensing Max's presence behind her, she snapped around before Max could attack her first and pulled her to the ground.   
  
Max tried to get up, but Brin pushed her down again. Her whole body ached, as she tried to fight off Brin.  
  
Max could feel tears come to her eyes, as she lay defeatedly on the ground of the cave. The tears didn't come solely from the pain she was in, but because it was her sister that she loved, and who once loved her, that was doing this to her.  
  
"I won't go back there," Max said crying sadly. "I won't let them do to me what they did to you. I'll never go back there again, there's no way I'll ever go back," she stressed, breaking down. She was so close to escaping, and now she would never. make it back to Logan. She couldn't stand the thought of having to go back there. She knew that eventually they would break her, and they would turn her back into what she was created to be. But most of all, it all came back to the fact that she couldn't stand the fact of never seeing Logan again.  
  
"Shut up, you weak traitor!" she shouted. "I'm not going to let you go back out there in the world and make the same mistake again."   
  
"Don't you remember what it was like out there? The only mistake is staying here," Max said, trying to convince Brin to let her go. She knew that if she were brought back, she might never get the chance to escape again. She noticed that Brin's stare was still an icy glare, so sharp that it could kill. She tried again. "Don't you remember what it was like out there? Don't you remember what it was like to fall in love with someone? To be loved?" she stressed, as she saw Brin raise her hand for one last sharp blow.  
  
Brin got ready to give Max one last hard hit, as she noticed the tears on her face. She remembered when they were children, seeing Max cry, but most of all she remembered that Max was her sister. She suddenly just couldn't do it.  
  
Max braced herself for the final hit, then realizing that she wasn't going to hurt her.  
  
"Please come with me," she pleaded hoping that Brin was really going to let her go.  
  
"No, I will return to command," Brin said with no emotion, leaving the cave.  
  
Max contemplated stopping her, trying to convince her to come with her again, but she knew it was no use.  
  
Outside the cave, Max could here Brin telling them that the cave was clear.  
  
Max was stunned, Brin was telling the truth. She was really letting her escape. After waiting for it to get completely dark, Max snuck out of the cave, and began to go towards her destination, Seattle. Despite the fact that she was about to finally be with Logan again, she couldn't seem to shake the feeling that things weren't going got work out the way she hoped.  
  


. . .  
  
  


  
Author's Note: That was a little bit short and there wasn't too much to this chapter, but there is much more to come, especially when we reach the climax! Just bear with me PLEASE! It does get so much better. REMEMBER: Review, sil vous plait! I love you all! Please tell me what I can do to make this better . . . the more you review the faster I post! :) I love the feedback, then I can know what I can do to make it better, and I can know how many peoples have read! Thanks!  
  
  
  
  


the.love.of.your.life.by.Michelle.Drake©  
gypsychic04@c4.com  


  
  



	3. C h a p t e r T h r e e

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: Thank you all for reviewing the previous chapters!!!! Thanks SO much! Here is chapter three . . . it is rather, slow, but bear with me. Chapter four gets much better! Amy, KT, Angie, and Nittany- you guys are very bad at reviewing after all that editing you've done for me! Grrrr . . . I expect better of you! Just Kidding! I love you! Trisha- thanks a bunch for your nice comments on my story! :)   
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel and the characters, I just get into their minds and make them d things . . . I do own this story, my other stories, and the character of Julie, and I own Alec . . . but that's besides the point! So basically- not mine, I want them, and I can't have them . . . such harsh reality!  
  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r T h r e e. . .  


  
  
There was a loud knock at the door to Logan's penthouse.  
  
"Could somebody get that?" Logan asked, working busily at his computer. Ever since Max had died, he had handed over the Eye's Only informant net to Syl and Krit. This way they could protect the few of their brothers and sisters that were left. Every once in a while he would receive information that he would work on and pass on to them. He couldn't just give up helping everyone else. It was one of the only thing that helped give his life real meaning.  
  
There was another knock at the door.  
  
"Just a minute," he called out, realizing that no one else was in the apartment.  
  
"Hey boo!" said Original Cindy, giving Logan a quick hug.  
  
"Hey Cindy," he replied as they moved to the kitchen.  
  
"It's 'Original' Cindy, roller boy," she said annoyed, he always got it wrong. "Anyway, Original Cindy was wonderin' if her girl, Julie was here."  
  
"Nope, she did some last minute shopping or something," he said. "You want anything to drink?"  
  
"No thanks. Figures she'd be gone, she always goes shopping when she is nervous. I've known her for years, and anytime she's shopping, she has something on her mind," said Original Cindy.  
  
"She's not nervous," Logan said, "I'm the one who's nervous."  
  
"Of course she's nervous boo! Original Cindy's known her longer than you have, and I'll tell you, my girl always shops when she is nervous, always," she emphasized matter-of-factly. "That's why I'm glad I'm a lesbian. We don't put our selves through all this stress. So, how've you been doin'? Excited about tying the knot?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah. For a while I wasn't exactly excited, in fact, I was dreading getting married," he confessed.  
  
"Why boo? She's a gorgeous, smart, funny, wonderful girl. If she were a lesbian, I would marry her in an instant- Oh, now I know what you are-" she cut off, realizing why Logan had been dreading getting married. He was still hoping that Max would come back. She knew that ever since Max had died, that Logan had held on to the small chance that she was still alive. She had also hoped that she was still coming, back, but it had been three long years now. She knew that she wasn't coming back. She had excepted that fact a long time ago. That was why she had introduced Logan to Julie. She had hoped that he too would move on with his life, and accept everything that had happened.   
  
"Well that was then, and this is now," Logan said trying his best to brush off the subject. It was still too hard to be able to talk about her, even with Max's closest friends. Sometimes that even made it harder. "So, how long does it take a nervous women to shop?" he asked, looking at his watch.  
  
"A long, long time. Mind if I crash here until she comes back- it might be a really long while. On second thought, can I get something to drink?"   
  
"Sure, let me get you something," Logan chuckled, as the phone rang.  
  


. . .  


  
Max went to a pay phone and found herself calling Logan's number. She didn't know what she was going to say, she just needed to hear his voice again.  
  
"Hello?" said the familiar voice she had been wanting to hear for so long. The voice she could only dream of hearing, until now. The minute she heard it she didn't know what to do. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Hearing his voice again was way too much for handle.  
  
"Hello?" he said again, hearing shallow breathing on the other line.   
  
Max froze, she didn't know what she was going to say to him. There was a click of the phone line, and he was gone.  
  
Max considered calling again, but she knew that she would never find the words. Even if she did, what would she say? None of that really mattered right now anyway, it would only be a matter of hours before she was in Seattle, and back with him.  
  
She snuck away from the phone booth, and started running towards Seattle.  
  


. . .  


  
Who was that? asked Original Cindy as she sipped on some coffee.  
  
No one, Logan answered as a strange feeling began to grow in the pit of his stomach. He tried to brush it away, but the feeling was still there. It was as if it were the calm before the storm, he just wished he knew what was to come.  
  


. . .  
  


Logan woke up the next morning to hear clattering in the kitchen.  
  
There was a crash of a plate, followed by a 'godammit', and the clattering of more pots and pans.  
  
He quickly moved himself into his wheelchair, and made his way to the kitchen. He put on his glasses, to see Julie desperately trying to clean up the mess in the kitchen- or at least what seemed to be left of the kitchen.  
  
There was pancake better splattered on the wall, a carton of orange juice puddling on the floor, egg shells everywhere, and wadded up paper towels everywhere.  
  
"What happened?" he asked, catching her off guard, causing her to drop another pan.  
  
"Oh, damn! I wanted to surprise you by making breakfast for you like you did for me. I can't believe I ruined it!" she said as tears of frustration came to her bluish-violet, eyes.   
  
"It's not that important," he said trying to make his way between the pots and pans.  
  
"But it is," she insisted. "I just wanted to do something special for you, like you always do for me. I figured, what's more special than to surprise you on our wedding day, and I completely ruined it!"   
  
"I don't see this day getting any more special than it is right now. Of course I would've loved being surprised by breakfast, but this, he said motioning to the kitchen, "is something I'll never forget. Believe me, you did surprise me," he laughed. "You have some pancake batter on your forehead," he chuckled, giving her a smile that made her want to melt.  
  
Julie giggled, wiping the batter off her forehead, then looking around at the catastrophe in the kitchen.  
  
"Come here," Logan said motioning for Julie to sit on his lap. I love you, he whispered in her ear, giving her a soft kiss. They finally pulled away from each other, and together they began to clean up the mess.  
  
"Thank you," she said after a moment of silence.  
  
"For what?" he asked scrubbing a skillet covered with burnt pancake batter.  
  
"For just being a great husband- well, fiance for a few more hours," she said smiling, not thinking of anyone better to spend the rest of her life with. What she didn't realize was that the happiest day of her life, was just about to turn into a complete disaster, just as her breakfast had turned out, except this wouldn't be cleaned up so easily . . .  
  


. . .  
  
  
  


Author's Note: Yeah, I know that this chapter was very slow. It's main purpose was to get to know Julie a little more and set up her character for future chapters to make her a sympathetic character. Even so . . . I feel bad about giving you a not so good chapter, so I'll post chapter four as well (also because chapter four is a bit short) . . . but because I am doing that I expect a bunch more reviews!!!! At least fifteen to twenty more (so review both chapters and the previous ones! I really want the feedback because I want to know if there is anything you guys like, don't like etc . . .). . . okey dokey???? Luv you all! Don't forget to review!  
  
  
  


the.love.of.your.life.by.Michelle.Drake©  
gypsychic04@c4.com


	4. C h a p t e r F o ur

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: Not much to write here . . . you know the drill. I've worked hard on this story . . . so PLEASE review! I love comments, and suggestions, and honest opinions. They help me *so* much, so please give me the HONEST truth! :) The story is finally getting to the good part . . . so please bear with all the crap that some of the previous parts of the story are! One more thing . . . when it rains, the plot always thickens . . . :)   
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel (which is really a no brainer . . . if I owned them would I really be here right now?) and the characters, I just get into their minds and play with them . . . I do own this story, my other stories, and the character of Julie, and I own Alec . . . but that's besides the point! So basically- not mine, I want them, and I can't have them . . . such harsh reality! Sadness!!!! I wish I owned them . . . I really, really do. I guess my Logan clone will have to do for now . . . :)  
  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r F o u r. . .  


  
Max ran through the streets of Seattle, darting in and out of people. She could see Foggle towers looming in the distant fog. It would be only a matter of minutes before she was back in his arms.  
  
Before she knew it, she was in his hallway, quickly picking the lock to his apartment.  
  
Quietly she walked around the apartment, listening for the familiar clatter of the keyboard of Logan feverishly typing on his computer. Instead, the air was filled with an eerie silence. She surveyed the room, noting that everything was almost the exact way it was three years ago, except for a few paintings missing here and there. Not much had seemed to change although in reality everything had changed.   
  
She snuck into the study, but she found it empty. Next she went to his bedroom, thinking that perhaps he was asleep, but the bedroom was empty as well.   
  
Max laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating whether to stay or leave.  
  
"Maybe I should just stay in his bed and surprise him. That would really surprise him," she said to no one in particular as she imagined the look on his face if he found her asleep on his bed. She sighed and turned her head to look out the window, seeing big rain clouds slowly cover up the clear, light blue sky. She turned her head to the nightstand, noticing a piece of paper.   
  
They were directions to a church. Max smiled to herself, deciding that Bling must be getting married. She grabbed her coat, and made her way to the church.  


  
. . .  


  
"You gotta' calm down man. You're starting to make me nervous," Bling joked as Logan fidgeted nervously as they waited in the back room of a small white chapel in the outskirts of Seattle.   
  
"I'm sorry, this is just really nerve racking. I never saw myself getting married again, that's all. I just want everything to go well," he said nervously, retying his tie for the seventh time.  
  
"Everything is going to be fine," said Bling trying to reassure him.  
  
"I know, I just have this really weird feeling, that's all." He looked out the window, as thick gray clouds began to cover the once bright blue sky.   
  
"Looks like it's going to rain," said Bling, noticing Logan looking out at the rain clouds anxiously.  
  
Yeah," he said, then commenting,"isn't that a bad omen?"  
  
"That's enough," said Bling annoyed. "Stop with the nonsense. You're getting married, be happy! Stop worrying, everything is going to be fine. Come on, lets get up to the altar, it's almost time for the ceremony."  
  
"Yeah, let's," said Logan forcing himself to swallow his bad feelings, and begin to smile.  
  


. . .  


  
Max made it to the church, anxious and nervous. She couldn't wait to see him after all the time she had spent away from him. She slowly walked into the small church, feeling awkwardly under dressed. She took a spot in the back pew, next to a pleasantly plump old lady.  
  
"Do you know the bride or the groom?" asked the old lady, with a voice as sweet as maple sugar.  
  
"The groom," she lied, hoping that she was right in guessing it was Bling's wedding.  
  
"Oh yes- Mr. Cale- he is such a lovely young man," gushed the old lady. "And Julie, she's a doll, I've known her ever since she was a little girl. Those two were really made for each other. They are so lovely together!"  
  
Max almost choked on her words, but somehow managed to say them. "Mr. Cale? As in Logan Cale?"  
  
"Why yes dear. Didn't you say, you knew him?" She looked at Max curiously, with a look of confusion.  
  
"Umm, I- I have to leave," she said tears coming to her eyes. She couldn't believe that this was all happening. After all that she had been through, and all that she had went through to get there, it was all for nothing. He had moved on with his life. She felt like a fool for thinking everything would be the same as they were before. Of course she had moved on- why wouldn't he?   
  
"Are you all right dear?" asked the old lady as Max got up quickly to leave, overcome by emotion.  
  
She ran out of the church, taking one last quick glance at the altar, where Logan and Bling were now sitting. He looked so happy; she knew that she couldn't ever see him again. She took one last look, and quickly ran out of the old church, tears blurring her vision as her heart seemed to break into a thousand tiny little pieces.  
  
Logan looked up at the same moment, and saw Max. He wasn't sure if she was real, or just a part of his imagination. It happened so quickly, that perchance it were his imagination, but she seemed so real.   
  
"Excuse me," said Logan to Bling. "I'll be right back," he said quickly going through the side exit, his heart beating fast. He knew that he was probably crazy, and just seeing things, but if he wasn't he needed to be sure.  
  
Once he made it outside, he wheeled to the front of the building. He looked around, seeing if she were really there, and that's when he saw her. She was sitting on a bench near a small garden, her head buried in her hands. Logan blinked, but she was still there. She was alive- he couldn't believe it.   
  
"Max?" he choked out, almost unable to speak, in utter shock. He couldn't believe that she was sitting there right in front of his very eyes . . .  
  


. . .  
  
  
  


Author's Note: I am sorry, as I look back on this part of the story I am realizing how bad it is . . . I wrote it months ago. The last chapters are better, but this kinda' sucked. Thanks for reading this far! Please review and tell me what I can do to salvage this atrocious mess! Any feedback, suggestions and comments would be MUCH appreciated! Here's a pathetic teaser, I couldn't think of anything else . . . Chapter five is okay, but chapter six and seven are the best, so please tell me if I should continue and post more or not, or whatever . . . so here's the teaser.  
  
  


_. . .C h a p t e r F i v e. . .  
Teaser_  


_His hand gently brushed across her cheek, as he leaned in and kissed her gently, then more passionately. He had wanted so desperately to kiss her for what seemed forever. She kissed him back, something that she had also wanted to do forever. It all seemed like a dream- to good to be true._  


  
  


All right- that's it for now . . . more to come when I get fifteen-twenty more reviews because I did post two chapters at once. Please review, good, or bad, or in between, or whatever! I really want feedback! Love you all!  
  
  
  
  


the.love.of.your.life.by.Michelle.Drake©  
gypsychic04@c4.com


	5. C h a p t e r F i v e

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: Wow . . . I didn't think that I would actually get that many reviews! Yes- I am quite aware that for a while I was on many peoples most wanted lists for holding this chapter hostage . . . I m sorry . . . we all have to be evil sometimes, it is so much fun! I want to thank you all for the reviews, especially for the suggestion . . . they really helped! And of course, thank you for the encouragement! I am almost speechless as to the amount of reviews I got . . . I seriously didn't think I'd get over twenty in a few days . . . Also, this chapter has had some MAJOR revisions, so I might have messed up a few places, but it is almost error free.   
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) And please- be honest!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel (as I've said in each of the chapters before!) and the characters, I just get into their minds and play with them . . . I do own this story, my other stories, and the character of Julie, and I own Alec . . . but that's besides the point! So basically- not mine, not ever going to be mine . . . but I can dream . . . RIGHT?  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r F i v e. . .  


  
She slowly looked up, to see Logan only inches from her. They were both speechless, as their eyes interlocked with the other's. They stared deeply into each others' eyes, for what seemed hours. They were completely unaware of everything around them, afraid that it might be an all to wonderful dream.  
  
His hand gently brushed across her cheek, as he leaned in and kissed her gently, then more passionately, wanting to hold onto her and never let go. He had wanted so desperately to kiss her for what seemed forever, and he wasn't about to waste another second. She kissed him back, something that she too had wanted to do forever. It all seemed like a dream- to good to be true.  
  
"I- I thought you were dead- I never thought you'd be back. I had a feeling that you weren't gone- but-" he stumbled on his words, overcome with emotion; tears coming to his eyes, as he continued to look into her dark chocolate-brown eyes that he had missed so much. In his dreams he had gone over what he would say to her if she ever came back to him, but now all the words had disappeared. "You're back now and that's all that matters." He leaned in kissed her again, making up for all the lost kisses that they had missed in those three years. He needed to be close to her; needed to feel her near him, feel her breath on his lips, feel her heart beating against his, feel the warmth of her touch. The thought about having to be away from her any longer scared him to death. She was back now, and that was all that mattered to him in the moment.  
  
"I'm, so sorry," she said crying in his embrace. She was so sorry for so many things; coming back to him when he was about to get married, for causing him pain during those three long years, for everything . . .   
  
"You have nothing to be sorry for. You're back now, and that's all that matters," he added again, staring intently into her eyes, oblivious to the light rain drops that were beginning to fall from the darkened sky. To him, there was no one else in the world but the two of them.  
  
Max continued to cry, partly out of happiness, partly because she missed being in his arms, partly out of relief that he still loved her, and partly because she was afraid of what would come next. She buried her head in his chest, she didn't know what else to do. Everything was so overwhelming. Here Logan was getting married, but instead was outside in the rain with her. She knew that she had to let go, but she had wanted to be in his arms for so long. Letting go would be too painful, but she knew she had to do it eventually.  
  
"You shouldn't be here," she said firmly, finally pulling away from him. "You should be in the church with your fiance," she said, not being able to control her out pouring of emotions.  
  
"Max- nothing else matters right now, " he said, kissing her again. God, how he had missed her; missed her kisses. He ran his hands through her long, dark hair. He wanted so badly to hold her forever and never let her go.  
  
Max let him kiss her, but her mind was still flooded with all her thoughts. Everything was just too overwhelming. She felt torn in what she should do.   
  
"Logan, there you are, I've been looking everywhere for you man, the wedding is about to . . ." Bling trailed off, noticing Max still in Logan's arms. "Max?" he uttered in a state of shock, not knowing what to say. He stood there silently for what seemed hours, then finally speaking, "Why don't you guys move it into the building and dry off." He didn't know what else there was to say, what do you say in a situation like that?  
  


. . .  


  
Inside, Max sat in the small room in the back of the church where just an hour ago Logan had been getting ready for his wedding. Max sat peering out the window watching the rain fall down in tiny droplets, as Logan sat next to her holding her hand. He knew it seemed silly, but he just couldn't let go of her, he was afraid to.  
  
"What are you going to tell her?" Max spoke sadly. " 'I was late to the wedding because I was busy kissing a girl from my past, who happened to die three years ago, or at least that's what I thought. Well guess what, she's not really dead,' " she added sarcastically. "I shouldn't have come back, hoping that everything would be fine. I've ruined everything. You'd be better off if I was never a part of your life," she said letting more tears fall, as she continued to look out at the rain.   
  
Logan could see her sad reflection in the window. He gently lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. "You don't really think that, do you?" he asked sadly.  
  
Max didn't answer, she just looked down, not wanting Logan to see the sadness in her eyes.  
  
"Max- I can't live without you. You should have seen how I was when I first lost you. I was a wreck. All I wanted to do was die. I am not better off without you," he said gently wiping a tear that streaked her face.  
  
"What do we do now?" she asked looking at him with her saddened eyes. The look in them was almost unbearable for Logan to see. He hated to see the pain and sadness reflected in them.  
  
"I don't know-" he answered, kissing her softly on the forehead, then moving to place the softest of kisses on her lips. Max rested her forehead on his, and closed her eyes. Logan ran his hand through her hair affectionately. We will figure everything out, he said quietly. He pulled away a little to look her in the eyes. As Max pulled away from him, she noticed a women with long blonde hair standing behind Logan heartbrokenly. Logan noticed Max looking past his shoulder, and looked behind him to find Julie standing there, and expression of complete pain written across her face.  
  
"Bling is telling everyone that the wedding is off," she said softly, visibly upset, her eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Julie- I don't know what to say-" he said, not wanting to hurt her anymore than he all ready did.  
  
"Don't say anything," she said silencing him, trying to keep her composure. "Just don't- we'll talk later." It was apparent that she didn't want to be near him right now. She was too hurt and angry to talk to him.  
  
"All right. I am going to go help Bling," Logan said, escaping the situation. He needed to think alone, even if that meant having to leave the comfort of having Max near him.  
  
After he left, Julie spoke up. "He was never really over you," she said angrily. "He always loved you, and no one could ever compare. I should've known that he wasn't ready to get married. I could see it in his eyes . . . you were the one he wanted.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Max apologized, not being able to look Julie in the eye. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Things can finally get back to normal with you two. I never meant to ruin everything," she said heartbrokenly. "You must hate me for ruining everything."  
  
"I don't hate you. You didn't know. I'm more mad at Logan. He said that he was in love with me, but he wasn't- apparently," she dejected sadly as she realized that Logan and her were never going to mend their broken relationship. "He was always in love with you. I guess I was just too foolish and naive to realize it," she said quietly wiping away a tear. The saddest part was that she was right. Logan had always loved Max, and she had never compared. She had seen the way Logan had been looking at Max. It was as if he were alive for the first time in years. He had never had that look in his eyes when he had been with her.  
  
"What we had wasn't even love- it wasn't really anything," said Max downwardly, as she got up to leave. "I'm sorry. I'm going to leave now," she said leaving the building in a hurry. She couldn't stay any longer causing everyone so much pain.  
  
She quickly walked out, hoping not to run into Logan so that she could be out of his life forever, but she had no such luck.  
  
"Max- are you leaving?" he asked sitting solemnly in front of the church, as the rain began to let up a little.  
  
"No, of course not, I'm just going to stay here and live happily ever after with you and your fiance," she said sarcastically, then more sadly, "Of course I'm leaving. What else is there to do?"  
  
"You can't just leave after being gone for three years, you just can't," he said almost stubbornly. In reality he was to afraid of what he would do if he lost her again. He couldn't live without her anymore.  
  
"What else am I supposed to do?" she yelled exasperatedly. "You are living in a dream world Logan Cale. Things between us died three years ago, and now we finally have to put it all to rest. There is no such thing as happily ever after," she said bitterly.  
  
"Why are you giving up so easily?" he demanded.  
  
"Because we are clearly never going to be able to work things out," she said her eyes beginning to well up with more tears. "Just forget that I ever came back and go on with your life, she said walking past him.  
  
"You can't just walk away upset," said Logan grabbing her hand not wanting to lose her again. "You can't walk away regretting everything. Let me give you some money for a nice hotel, and you can come by my place tomorrow, and we'll talk."  
  
"Logan- why can't you just leave things be?" she said sadly. "Why can't we just leave things the way they are?"  
  
"Because I can't lose you again," he said genuinely. He handed her a credit card, and wrote down the name of a hotel. "Just promise me that you will come by tomorrow. We can't leave things the way they are right now. I can't have you leaving without seeing you again. I can't do that all over again . . . "  
  
"I'll be over tomorrow, she said torn. She had two choices, both of which scared her to death. She could admit to him what she felt, or she could let him go and never see him again, letting him go on with his new life. Deep down she knew what she truly wanted, but she was to afraid that it wasn't the right thing to do. She could feel her heart fill with dread. She knew what she was going to tell him when she saw him the next day . . . the thought of it scared her more than anything, but she knew what she had to do . . .  
  


. . .  


  
  
Author's Note: I hope you liked it . . . more to come soon! Please review and tell me what you think. I did a lot of revisions to this because the first draft was horrible, so if you have any other suggestions I would love to see them! :) Just please review and tell me what you think . . . the more you review the faster I post, and the next chapter is the only chapter that I think is good! Next chapter I am hoping will make you cry . . . I worked really hard on it! So review! I can't think of a teaser, maybe I'll add one later . . . but I kinda' want to keep the suspense for the next chapter. It is good though . . . I really hope it will make you cry (because I am evil like that) :) I love you all for reading! :)   
  
  
  


the.love.of.your.life.by.Michelle.Drake©  
gypsychic04@c4.com  


  
  
  
  
  



	6. C h a p t e r S i x

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: I am so sorry I held this chapter hostage for more than a week . . . Life is unbelievably crazy, so I finally got around to revising this chapter. I have to say out of everything I've written, this is my favorite chapter . . . so I hope you REALLY like it! :) It isn't completely revised yet, and there might be some errors still because I haven't revised my revisions . . . and so on. I tried to make this very angsty and touching, so tell me if I was at all successful. Please review! Then I will give you the next chapter (which I think is the last chapter . . . I'm not sure . . .) and get you the sorta-sequel (which is not completely a companion to this story- I'll explain later!). M/L shippers . . . it will become more shipper friendly very soon! Trust me (which I doubt any of you will . . . especially after have held this story hostage for SO long)! :) Also . . . would you please read some of my other short Dark Angel stories, they tend to get buried, and never read, and some of them I've worked very hard on! I would appreciate it so much! Remember: lots of reviews equals happy writer, equals chapters and sequel FASTER!!!! :) Love you all!!!! Enjoy!!!! Chapter seven will be here soon . . . I hope :)  
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments, suggestions, criticism- ANYTHING! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) And please- be honest!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com. I would love to offer my beta skills!  
  
Disclaimer: I just wrote Fox an angry letter about how they are a bunch of primates that are killing Dark Angel with their supid non-advertising and promoting, and I proved my point so very well that they gave me possession of Dark Angel© and all affiliated merchandise!!!! Now they are all mine!!!! And I thought I would never be able to own them! Silly me . . . The best part is that now I can play with Logan and Alec all I want and I won't need to be running from the cops!!!! I also own this story . . .  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r S i x. . .  


  
  
Max sat uncomfortably on Logan's couch, knowing that this might be the last time she was going to sit there. She had made up her final decision, as much as it hurt. She was going to let him go on with his life without her. He had moved on, she refused to hold him back any longer. To Max, it was the only answer.   
  
"Max," said Logan softly after a long and awkward pause, "we are going to be able to work this out." It was apparent that he was trying to reassure her, but also himself. He honestly had no clue how they were going to figure everything out.   
  
"It doesn't matter if we figure everything out," she said defeatedly, "because I'm leaving." The words were hard to say, but she said them anyway. As much as she hated it . . . she had to let him go, for his sake and her own.  
  
"Max, you don't have to leave,. We are going to figure everything out," he said again, his voice a little more convincing, but his composure just the opposite. He ran his hands through his sandy brown hair nervously, desperately trying to seek her downward gaze.   
  
"How the hell are we supposed to do that?" she said almost angrily. "I've already ruined your life. When I saw you standing up at the altar, you looked so happy, now look at you- you're a mess." Max was right- he was a mess. The night before he couldn't fall asleep. His thoughts were overloaded as he tried to process what had happened. He was still afraid it might just be some twisted dream- or maybe a horrible nightmare.  
  
"Of course I'm a mess. How do you think I'd react to you deciding to leave me, after just coming back. You can't just leave again."  
  
"Again?" she spat. "Do you think it was my choice to stay in that hell hole? You think that I wanted to spend those three years, fighting them just to get back to find you about to be married? Now I find that you are angry at me for leaving you!" she said upset, even though she knew that she was jumping to conclusions. She knew that he was hurting just as much as she was, maybe even more.  
  
"That isn't what I meant," he said reaching out to touch her, as she flinched, and pulled even farther away. "I'm not angry at you, I could never be angry at you. None of this has been easy, for either of us." He tried to comfort her, never seeing her so emotionally drained before.  
  
"That's why I can't stay here. I can't keep on causing you so much pain. Look at how I've ruined everything!" she said upset, not being able to look him in the eyes. There was so much pain in them, and she felt like she was the one that was causing it.   
  
"You never ruined anything, and you have never, caused me pain. Never." He wanted more than anything for her to stay. "Why are you doing this to me? You say that you don't want to cause me pain- so stay," he tried again.  
  
"I have to go," she said with effort, trying to fight the outpouring of emotions that were threatening to become visible. "You've moved on. You have a beautiful, fiance who loves you, and whom you love back. There's nothing you can say to make me stay," she said getting up to walking away and never come back. She knew that if she didn't go now she might never be able to leave.  
  
"You don't know how hard these past years have been," he said quietly as she walked away, knowing that what he was saying might not even make a difference, especially if Max's mind was all ready made up. "I just can't do it all over again. I can't get over you, again. As much as I tried I could never find anyone who compared to you. I love you Max," he quietly spoke, the last part being barely audible.  
  
Max stopped dead in her tracks, her back still turned to him. Those three little words seemed to hold her there, not being able to go forward, or back, as if she were stuck in time. Logan continued to speak.   
  
"From the moment I met you, and even after all these years, I've never stopped loving you," he emphasized, wanting so desperately for her to turn around and say that she felt the same way. "And after being away from you for so long, I've realized that I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens."  
  
Max turned around and walked back to him, kneeling next to him. "Please, don't make this any harder than it has to," she pleaded looking deeply into his blue green eyes. "I have to leave."  
  
"Tell me that you love me," he said whispered cupping her cheek with one of his hands, the other hand protectively holding the nape of her neck. It was as if he didn't hold onto her a little longer she would disappear forever. Tell me that you feel the same way," he managed to say.  
  
Max just sat there, not being able to say anything. She finally let a tear that has been threatening to escape since she had arrived at his place, leaving a wet trail down her cheek.  
  
Logan gently wiped it away with his thumb, still pleading with her, "tell me that you love me." He desperately held on to her, not ready to let her go. She was too close to let her go again.  
  
"Stop making this so hard," she reiterated, letting more tears fall although she was trying to keep them in. "I have to go," she said finally, quickly getting up to leave.  
  
Logan desperately grabbed her wrist, and looked deeply into her eyes, his own glazed over with tears that were about to fall. "Just say it-" He wasn't able to mask the hurt that he felt as his voice spoke out brokenly. He needed to know if she felt the same way. He had been trying so hard to be strong, but all that crumbled as Max reached up and gently wiped a tear away from his cheek, the same as he had done for her.  
  
"Goodbye," she whispered just inches from him, quickly turning away and running out the door. She had wanted to kiss him goodbye, but leaving was all ready too hard. She was afraid if she kissed him she might never be able to leave.  
  
Logan watched as she ran out the door and didn't come back. He simply turned to the window to get one last look at her. He didn't think that she would be coming back. After a minute, he heard faint footsteps behind him. He turned around slowly, hoping that it wasn't just his imagination.  
  
"I couldn't leave without-" Max managed to say, before, giving Logan a desperate, almost mournful kiss, full of all the emotion that they had both been holding in- the hurt, the pain, the loneliness, the grief, that they had both endured those three years, but also the longing and passion that each of them felt for the other. They both relished the kiss, as much as they were both hurting. Max held onto Logan tightly, knowing that she was going to have to attempt to pull away from the kiss and leave. Logan also held onto her, grasping the back of her silky, black hair, not wanting to let her go, but knowing deep down that she wasn't going to be staying. He knew that it was a goodbye kiss, and he knew that it was about to end. He tightened his grip on her, letting all of his emotions out in the final moments of the kiss, until she finally broke the kiss, staring up at him, reading the heartbreak written on his face.   
  
"Goodbye," she said forcing herself to tear away from him as much as it tore away at her, not looking back.  
  
All Logan could do was sit there helplessly, watching as she walked out the door. This time she didn't come back . . .  
  


. . .  


  
Logan had been sitting in front of the window watching the rain come down from the dark, ominous, clouds, ever since Max had left. He didn't know what else to do. He knew that she wasn't coming back- ever.   
  
"Logan," Julie said softly sitting on the couch next to him. "I'm worried."  
  
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't know what else to say. Things are never going to be the same with us." No matter how much he loved Max, he still felt guilty for all the pain he had caused Julie. He had loved Julie too- but in a way that just didn't measure up against his love for Max. He hated that it all was all ending so horribly.  
  
"I'm not worried about us, I'm worried about you. You've been sitting here for hours. Are you going to be all right?" She had never seen him so miserable before, it almost scared her.  
  
"Yeah- I'll be fine. I just have a lot on my mind," he said absently.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" she said softly, seeing the pain he was in.   
  
"No," he answered truthfully, finally looking Julie in the eyes. "I feel like I've lost everything."  
  
"I'm sorry that all of this happened," she said seeing the tears in his eyes, but moreover, seeing the emptiness in them.  
  
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one that should be apologizing to you," he said sadly, then waiting a beat, "the sad thing is, as much as I love you, there is no way we can ever work this out."  
  
"I know," she said putting her hands around his shoulders, resting her head against his sadly.  
  
"It just wouldn't be fair to you," he added, gently grabbing her hand.  
  
"You don't have to explain," she said still worried about him. She finally pulled away from him, knowing that he wanted to be alone. She stood back a little watching him. As much as she wanted to hate him for everything that had happened, she couldn't. She could see how genuinely sorry he was about everything.  
  
"I just want to make sure you know that I'm sorry, and that I wish things between us could work out," said Logan, still staring out the window.  
  
"I know that you are, and it's all right," she said, giving him another quick hug. "I'm going to be moving in with Original Cindy for a while until I get an apartment. I'll be leaving this weekend," she said finally, knowing that she was closing this chapter of her life for good.  
  
"I am really sorry," he said again, blinking back tears.   
  
"Logan," Julie said looking back at him. "Promise me you'll be okay." She had known him long enough to know when he was hurting, and as much as she hurt, she knew that he was hurting ten times more. She couldn't help but still love him.   
  
"I promise," he said giving her a half smile; if only that were the truth . . .  
  


. . .  
  


  
  
Author's Note: Please review!!!! :) And please read my poor neglected stories that have become buried! Thank you all!!!! The more reviews the sooner you get chapter seven and the sequel . . . you all know that I am capable of holding my stories hostage, so please review :) Love y'all!  
  
  
  


the.love.of.your.life.by.Michelle.Drake©  
gypsychic04@c4.com  


  
  
  
  



	7. C h a p t e r S e v e n

Author: Michelle Drake gypsychic04@c4.com  
  
Author's Note: I could have been really mean and made you wait longer for this chapter, but I love you all so much, and realized the whole week is going to be super busy, so here it is! I am also in a really good mood as I sit at me computer eating Girl Scout cookies and listening to Michelle Branch! Wait- Before I forget: Amy, and Nittany, and my favorite beta-readers (you all know who you are): I pancreas you! Poor Baby! Baby ain't got no pancreas! (for those of you have no clue what that was about . . . I'm sorry) Anyways . . . this is the lastest chapter of the story! :( Boo hoo hoo! But- I have my sequel- or sorta sequel all written- well almost! And guess what . . . I am writing a prequel to this where we find out how Logan and Julie met, because everyone liked the character of Julie so much! It will be sorta M/L angsty shipperiness- I think . . . Anyway, enjoy! The more reviews I get, the faster you get the latest installment!!!! Review all the other chapters you have read if you haven't yet! Thank you all for the great and uplifting reviews so far! Love you all! Review, review, review! Thanks! Well . . . I'll stop rambling! Here you go . . .   
  
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review!!!!! I live off feedback, and appreciate any sort of comments, suggestions, criticism- ANYTHING! I really want to know what to do to make it better! Review, please :) And please- be honest!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or if you need a beta-reader, or whatever gypsychic04@c4.com. I would love to offer my beta skills! REMEMBER: REVIEW!!!! I think I will be mean, and say that once I have over 135 reviews you can get the sequel . . . okay???? it shouldn't be TOO hard!!!! :)  
  
Disclaimer: Okay . . . so Fox decided that they still want to have legal possession of Dark Angel, and all affiliated characters and merchandise . . . it involved an elaborate courtroom of monkey's, the apeinator (aka Ames White) and the Zackinator and his trusty sidekick Pon. (long story . . . I got that form the peoples on the datv boards!) and fairy tales, and sadly I lost the case . . . but they forgot to take away my love slave!!!! Oh well- their loss, not mine! I still miss the power! :( They will be mine one day . . . they will! So for now, I do not own Dark Angel and such . . . but I do own Alec :), and this story, and the character of Julie. So don't sue me . . . I all ready lost one case . . .  
  
  
  


. . .T h e L o v e O f Y o u r L i f e. . .  
by Michelle Drake  
  
. . .C h a p t e r S e v e n. . .  
  
. . .  
  


Logan worked quietly in his office, trying to find anyway to keep busy. All he could do was fiddle around with his computer aimlessly, waiting for a call from Syl and Krit. It had been a little over three months since Max had left. Exactly three months, two days, and twelve hours ago she had kissed him goodbye and walked out the door, not coming back. After a day of waiting for her to come back, Logan realized that she wasn't returning to him this time. After this epiphany he had set Syl and Krit to work on trying to find her. He knew that living without her was going to be hard and painful- he had lived that way for three years before- but he had no clue that living, knowing that she was out there somewhere and just didn't want to see him would hurt so bad. To put it bluntly, it hurt like hell.  
  
He opened the desk drawer looking for a pen, and suddenly stumbled upon something that made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. It was the locket. He had forgotten that he even had it. He threw it fiercely back in the drawer and shut it angrily. It should belong to Max right now. She should have it, but he wasn't going to be able to give it to her because she didn't want to be in his life anymore. His thoughts were bitter, and almost resentful. He had basically given up hope. He violently threw the papers he had been working on off his desk and rested his head in his hands as he tried to collect his thoughts and tried to stop thinking of her.  
  
He tried to get back to work, feeling a little bit better after letting his anger out on the pieces of paper that still lay scattered across the floor of his office. That's when a strange feeling seemed to wash over him. That feeling you get when you think someone is following you, but there is no one there. He paused a minute, not wanting to confirm that it was just his imagination. That's when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He turned around slowly to be greeted by an angry fist, meeting directly across his jaw line.   
  
"Don't you ever, ever pay my brothers and sisters to find me! If I don't want to see you, I don't want to see you!" said the owner of the fist fiercely.   
  
"Max?!" Logan was completely taken aback, almost overcome by shock. Y-You didn't have to hit me so hard! he exclaimed, the only thing he could possibly think of saying to her at the moment. He was still so surprised that he didn't know how to process the fact that Max was actually back, and very angry.  
  
Maybe I wouldn't have had to hit you if you had just left me alone! She knew that it was uncalled for, but she had tried so hard to move on with her life. She had come to his place initially angry, but seeing him again she realized that moving on without him wasn't the real problem. Moving on on life with him, was the problem. She wanted to be with him so badly, but suddenly she felt petrified to be anywhere near him.  
  
"If you wanted to be left alone, why are you here now?" he replied back coolly, still not believing that she was back.  
  
Max had no answer to his question. She had come there initially to yell at him, but she knew the real reason was that she had to see him again. I want you to leave me alone for good, she lied, knowing that it was far from the truth, and that she was just too scared to admit it.  
  
"That's not true," he said softly. "You wouldn't have come back a few months ago, and you wouldn't have kissed me, and you wouldn't be back now if you wanted me to stay out of your life." He could tell that she was lying. He knew her too well to believe her lies.  
  
"Well that's not the case," she quickly replied. Of course she was back because she needed to see his face again, but for some reason she just couldn't let him know that. Maybe it was because she was afraid that in the long run she would hurt him.  
  
"Why are you lying? Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't have feelings for me?" he said trying to read her face. He suddenly realized that he wasn't able to read her face and see what she was thinking the way he used to. It scared him to death. He was always afraid of losing Max, but he never thought that she could be so close to him, yet so far at the same time. It suddenly crossed his mind that she might possibly be telling the truth,  
  
Max looked him in the eyes- as hard as it was. "Stop looking for me, I don't want to be with you. Just let me go on with my life. She wanted to scream at herself from running form her feelings once again.   
  
"Get out," he said fiercely seeing the coldness in her eyes, suddenly overcome by his emotions, "get out now." He turned away from her. He couldn't look at her, it was too hard. He had spent such a long time dreaming the Max would come back, and they'd be able to be together. Now he realized that dreams don't come true. He had always hoped that Max loved him the way he loved her, but he was wrong. She was different now. He felt like a complete fool for ever thinking that things could be the same between them.  
  
Max slowly walked out the door. She looked back at Logan, who was staring out the window. She could see his pained expression in the reflection in the window. She couldn't believe what she had done. She had been looking for any excuse to come back to him, but she was too terrified to tell him the truth. Now she had hurt him even more than she already had, which was the exact reason why she was afraid of being with him.  
  
"I did come here to see you," Max said quietly, not knowing if he heard her. "I came here because I wanted to tell you that I do want to be with you, but I was too scared to say the words. I was so afraid that I would hurt you more in the long run, when I already have hurt you more than I thought possible."  
  
"So you decided to break my heart," he said coldly, then painfully adding, "again." He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep putting his heart out on the line to have it broken.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said knowing that she had blown her last chance. "I just wish we could start over."  
  
"I wish we could too, but I don't think we will ever work things out," he said, still looking out the window. To him, all they had ever faced was bad luck, as if fate wanted them apart. He couldn't argue with fate anymore.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said again, quietly leaving. This time Logan didn't even try to stop her.  
  


. . .  


  
It was almost past midnight. Logan sat at his computer doing anything he could to take his mind off of what just happened. He wished he would have said something more after she had apologized, and explained everything, or stopped her from leaving. He knew that he had completely blown it. All he could do was curse at himself for being so damn arrogant, and deciding not to take her back. He could have taken her back, but he was a fool and he didn't. Now he found himself wishing for a second- or was it third- chance, not knowing that his wish would be granted so soon.  
  
A black rope dropped through his skylight, followed by Max all clad in her black suit.  
  
Hearing her footsteps, Logan knew it wasn't just his imagination. He spun around to see Max, instantly feeling relieved that she was back. He could never stay mad at her for long.  
  
"I was hoping you might want to start over," she said with almost meekly, with a small smile, practically reading his mind. She silently hoped that he still wanted her. "And I figured, why not start from the beginning."  
  
"Well, we can't start at the very beginning," he said implying his wheelchair, "but, I think I could give it a shot." He gave Max a small smile, remembering their first meeting. "So you're a thief?"  
  
"A girls gotta' make a living," she said with a small laugh, reassured by his reaction.  
  
"Well thank God," he said giving her a smile that made her want to melt, taking her hand and pulling her onto his lap. He gave her a gentle kiss on her cheek, then moved to her lips.  
  
"Why'd you come back?" he asked enjoying being to close to her after so long.  
  
"I knew that if you felt the same way I felt for you, you'd want a second chance," she said cuddling closer to him.  
  
Logan pulled away momentarily, and reached into his desk drawer, pulling out the locket, gently slipping it around Max's neck.  
  
"When I was a child, my mother told me that one day I'd give this locket to the love of my life, just as my dad gave to her. She said I should give it to the women I can't imagine living without," he explained with his the smile at Max.   
  
"Now I feel even worse about slapping you! she said with a small laugh gently touching the red spot on his face, where she had hit him hours ago. She paused for a second, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning in closer to his ear to whisper something that she had been wanting to say for so long. "I love you." It was barely audible, but Logan heard it perfectly, pulling her in closer. It was the three words he had been waiting to hear for what seemed forever. Max smiled to herself as she enjoyed the closeness of his embrace, realizing that it wasn't as scary as she thought it would be.  
  
  


. . .E N D. . .  
  


  
  
Author's Note: I finished it!!! Yea!!!! I know the ending was horribly done, as was the rest of the chapter, but I had writers block! Maybe I'll rewrite it later. Please review, and you will get the next story sooner!!! Here's the summary: Logan and Max are ready to live happily ever after, but things between them are becoming more difficult, and when Zack shows up things become even more complicated. Secrets, lies, betrayal, jealousy and of course- ANGST!!!! I am working on the Prequel to this one as well! Love you all!!!! I hope you liked it!!!! So- review!!!!


End file.
